Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Fear Not, with three columns

It is not what we are afraid in childbirth that can hurt us, because in all probability you will not experience it. To prove that to the part of yourself that needs to be convinced, try this 2 minute exercise. Make three columns and label the first column, Experiences that you were afraid of but did anyway, in the second column, identify what you were afraid of, and the third, what actually happened. Be specific. So for example, if you identify going to graduate school as something that you did and feared failure, ask yourself what is it about failure that you were afraid of? Or, in regard to childbirth, if you fear pain, what it is about pain that you are afraid of? The more specific you can be with exploring your fears, the less power they will have over you. When I taught this at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston, MA for a small group of couples committed to natural childbirth, they were softened by their reflections, and felt more confident moving forward with their intentions. I hope you too will enjoy the same.

Although fear is mostly benign, what can reek havoc and dismantle our lives,leaving us stunned and in need of repair are those unexpected surprises. Unfortunately, there is little we can do about preventing them  (although Karmic law says that the more enlightened we become, the greater power we have to draw near positive, uplifting experiences - for  another blog!). What we can do though, if we are wise and brave is take up the work of putting ourselves back together again. Consider that when we do, the hard-wiring of our being in charge of gathering and making sense of our world gets rewired so that we become heavier in the parts of ourselves that needs to be and feel fully vested in survival, safety, unconsciously, confidently grounded, agile. Because our childbirth experiences are often full of unexpected surprises, processing the experience is a very powerful way to deeply ground yourself  in the here and now. Then, we are freer to light on other parts of ourselves that relishes reflection, contemplation and enjoys the artistic expression of our journey through writing, painting, movement, and music.

Yoga is a practice that provides for the work of putting ourselves back together, and what is so splendidly beautiful to witness is that healing just happens, like the birth of another brilliant shining start in the black velvet sky, or the sound of another baby's first cry. It just happens, seamlessly, organically, miraculously.

I would love to hear your experiences from the above exercise. Please share below to further assimilate your experience and help others do the same.

Together, forever, in our hearts,


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